Secretary
by awintea
Summary: Fujioka Haruhi was the worst secretary that Kyoya could have // oneshots and drabbles.
1. Secretary

OHSHC belongs to Bisco Hatori (: Please enjoy.

**Secretary** (200 words)

Fujioka Haruhi was the worst secretary that Ohtori Kyouya could have.

It wasn't that she didn't do her work well though. She worked diligently, and always got the work done perfectly.

She didn't complain about work either – didn't complain for a bigger check, didn't complain for about her workload... She didn't complain in general.

She always worked quickly and efficiently, and got more work done then his previous fulltime secretaries in her part-time hours. She flew through all the work at an amazing pace, driven forward by the fact that the more work she got done, the money she would make. (And she got a whole lot of work done too, even with her fulltime job of being a lawyer.)

She wasn't like his previous female secretaries, who would giggle girlishly every time he walked by. She wouldn't gossip about the latest scandals, or read tabloids. She didn't ask to be let off of work early to go on dates. (She didn't seem to go on dates at all, actually.)

The bad thing about Haruhi the secretary was that Kyouya couldn't get any work done because he kept on staring at her during work hours.

But Kyouya kept Haruhi anyway.** x owari  
**


	2. Swivel Chair

**Swivel Chair** (300 words)

Ohtori Kyouya was out shopping. Not for food. Not for clothes. Not for electronics.

Kyouya was shopping for a _chair_.

Fuyumi had insisted, saying 'A young man like you needs good back support while working! That _wooden_ chair of yours is so _old_! Get yourself one of those new swivel chairs!' Fuyumi ended with this. 'I would love to come with you but I can't! Bye!' And then she had his dropped off at a commoner's store.

Kyouya wondered why anyone would want to do something so time consuming, pointless, boring, and just _dumb_.

He entered the store, not exactly sure what he was looking for. Then, a strange coincidence happened. He saw Haruhi and Tamaki conversing in front of a... 3000000 yen swivel chair. (Why was it in a commoner's store?)

'Tamaki-senpai, I don't want the chair. Look at the price!' Haruhi protested.

Tamaki smiled charmingly. 'Such a sum is just a mere trifle to me, and nothing but the _best _is good enough for my daughter! This is the last one in stock, you know!'

'Ah! Kyouya-senpai! What are you doing here?' Haruhi spotted Kyouya.

He smirked. 'Just about to buy a chair for myself. Would you happen to have any suggestions?'

Haruhi caught on. 'This one is the best in the store.'

'Really?' Kyouya raised an eyebrow. 'I'll take your word for it.' He waved over the shopkeeper. 'I'll take this.' The man nodded, and Kyouya paid him. 'Please have it delivered to this address.' Kyouya quickly wrote something down, and gave it to the storekeeper. Kyouya left, and Haruhi followed him, despite Tamaki's wailing.

'Thank you senpai.' Haruhi gave him a smile and walked away.

Kyouya wouldn't mind buying millions more of those chairs if each time he bought one, he would receive such a smile.** x owari**

**x omake**

Haruhi woke up the next morning with a 3000000 yen swivel chair outside her door.


	3. Irritable

**Irritable **(300 words)

Kyouya was working on his Pineapple laptop.

Being the head of the Ohtori company, he didn't get much sleep. However, he had gotten even less sleep than usual tonight – this morning, rather.

Kyouya was very bad-tempered when he didn't get enough sleep.

He drank some coffee, and glanced at the clock. Six in the morning. He hadn't slept at all. Again.

He knew that without any sleep, whatever work he did would most likely be horrible. He turned off his Pineapple laptop, and went to his bed.

He was just about ready to fall asleep when his mobile rang.

He glared at it irritably, ready to lash out at whatever idiot had decided to call him at six in the morning. On a Saturday.

He picked it up, and said in a dark voice, 'Who is this?'

A blunt voice replied, 'Kyouya-senpai, don't forget that you have a meeting today at eight. Don't go to sleep yet.' The person hung up.

Kyouya smirked, and called the person back. The person picked up the phone almost immediately.

'So,' Kyouya commented. 'Why did you hang up so quickly?'

The person replied honestly, 'You might have had someone murder me if I bothered you for too long.'

Kyouya smirked. 'A smart deduction. And this meeting...'

'You have to go,' she replied instantly.

'What if I don't?'

'He's my client as well. I don't want to lose any business.'

Kyouya almost smiled. She was the only person in Japan who would complain to him without any fear. 'I have nothing to gain though.'

She responded, 'You have to go.'

'What do I have to gain?'

'A lunch date with me after the meeting.'

'I'll pick you up afterwards then, Haruhi.' Kyouya hung up. He got ready for the meeting, not feeling irritable at all. **x owari**


	4. Hardboiled Eggs

**Hardboiled Egg **- Kyouya's Take (100 words)

Fujioka Haruhi was eating a hardboiled egg in the office.

She bit into it, and closed her eyes, savouring the taste. Upon opening her eyes, she felt two eyes staring at her. Eyes belonging to an Ohtori Kyouya.

'I'm allowed to eat now.' Haruhi stated stubbornly, not about to renounce her egg.

Kyouya smirked. 'You, being a commoner, would obviously enjoy such simple foods.' He looked at the plain hardboiled egg.

'You don't like eggs, Kyouya-senpai?'

'Not particularly. Eggs are remarkably insipid. They are such a common food.'

Haruhi muttered, 'Rich bastard,' and gulped down the rest of her egg. **x owari.**

**x omake**

'Tachibana? I want hardboiled eggs for dinner.'

'Hai, Kyouya-sama.'

**xxx**

**Hardboiled Egg** - Tamaki's take (200 words)

Fujioka Haruhi sat at her desk in the office, filing the papers that Ohtori Kyouya had attempted to file the night before. (Kyouya did not work well when tired.)

The phone rang. Haruhi picked up. 'Hello, the Ohtori-'

'My daughter! I haven't talked to you for so long! Is mommy overworking you? Mommy's horrible, making you work extra even when you work so much as a lawyer!' Tamaki cheerfully said through the phone.

'Tamaki-senpai, you called yesterday. I've told you so many times not to call me at Kyouya-senpai's office.' Haruhi replied, irritated.

'But, Haruhi, I have to thank you for making me a bento! It was the essence of love from daughter to father! The perfect combination of steamed rice, octopus wieners, and sliced hardboiled eggs! The steamed rice steamed oh so perfectly, the octopus wieners the epitome of cuteness, and the sliced hardboiled eggs cut into beautiful slices! The perfect commoner's bento!' Haruhi hung up, but didn't tell Tamaki that she had actually bought the 'bento' from a convenience store. (It was on sale.)

Haruhi thought that if love could be bought for such a reasonable price, the companies that sold valentine's chocolate would go out of business. x** owari.**

**x omake**

'What are you daydreaming about?' Kyouya asked, catching Haruhi in a moment of weakness.

Haruhi replied vaguely, 'Reasonably priced love and a hardboiled egg.' She went back to work.

Kyouya could not understand what went on in Haruhi's head at all.

**xxx**

**Hardboiled Egg** - Kaoru's Take (200 words)

'Kaoru, don't call me during work!' Haruhi reprimanded, smiling.

'But your life would be so boring without us talking to you,' Kaoru teasingly replied.

'Ne, Kaoru. What do you think about hardboiled eggs?'

'The flavour? Not much. It's pretty tasteless.'

Haruhi muttered, 'Rich bastard.'

Kaoru laughed. 'But an egg is wonderful, isn't it?'

Haruhi readied herself for one of Kaoru's more philosophical tirades. 'What do you mean?'

'Well, an egg is a symbol for several things.'

'Commoners?' Haruhi questioned drily.

'No. Truth, justice, and freedom are just a few.'

Haruhi waited for an explanation.

'Well, truth because of how an egg hides nothing. What you see is what you get. Justice as no matter how different the shell of an egg is from another, the inside will be treated the same. Freedom, for a chick leaving its eggshell for the first time, leaving everything it knows and has behind for a new world which it knows nothing of.'

Then, the phone beeped. Haruhi apologized, 'Gomen, Kaoru, someone's calling.'

''Kay. Hikaru'll call tomorrow.' Kaoru hung up.

Haruhi took the call. 'Haruhi?' It was Kyouya from his office. 'What were you and Kaoru talking about?'

'Truth, justice, freedom, and a hardboiled egg.' **x owari**

**x omake**

Kyouya didn't think that Haruhi was one to read fantasy books.

**xxx**

**Hardboiled Egg **- Hikaru's Take (100 words)

Haruhi answered her cellphone. 'Hello, this is Haruhi.'

'I'm bored, Haruhi.' Haruhi recognized the voice.

'Go play with Kaoru, Hikaru,' Haruhi replied.

'He's _writing_.' Hikaru stressed the word 'writing' as if 'writing' was some sort of disease.

Haruhi understood that Kaoru was writing poetry. 'What do you want me to do?'

'Talk.'

Haruhi said absentmindedly, 'Do you like hardboiled eggs?'

'What?'

'Hardboiled eggs.'

'What the hell are you talking about?'

'Haven't you ever eaten a hardboiled egg?'

'No.'

Haruhi sighed. 'Never mind, Hikaru. I have to work.' She hung up.

Of course Hikaru wouldn't know about boiled eggs, that rich bastard.** x owari**

**x omake**

Hikaru opened the door to see a Kaoru lying face up on his bed. He asked, 'Kaoru, what's a hardboiled egg?'

'Truth, justice, and freedom.'

'What?'

**xxx**

**Hardboiled Egg **- Hunny's (and Mori's) Take (200 words)

Hunny and Mori entered the office, where Haruhi was working as a secretary. 'Hi, Haru-chan! Where's Kyouya?' Mori nodded at Haruhi.

She pointed to another room, where Kyouya was typing. 'He's working. What brings you here, Hunny-senpai, Mori-senpai?'

Hunny grinned. 'We brought cake!' He held up a cake box which he had been hiding.

Haruhi glanced at Kyouya's room. 'I suppose it's okay if I take my break now.'

'Hurray!' Hunny put down his cake box and opened it to reveal three strawberry cake slices and three forks. He handed one slice to Haruhi with a fork. They ate in silence until Haruhi voiced a question.

'Do you know what hardboiled eggs are?'

Hunny nodded, grinning. 'Of course! Takashi used to cook them for me! You mean the eggs that you have to crack the shell before eating, right?'

Haruhi smiled.

Hunny continued, 'The bland not sugary eggy things, right?'

Haruhi sighed. 'You don't like hardboiled eggs, Hunny-senpai?'

'Nope! They're not sweet at all!' Haruhi finished his cake.

Haruhi felt a hand on her head. She looked at Mori, who smiled reassuringly, and said 'Hardboiled eggs aren't bad.'

Haruhi decided that there was still _some _sanity in rich kids then.** x owari**

**x omake**

Ranka-san watched Haruhi as she cooked happily. 'Haruhi, what are you doing?'

'Cooking truth, justice, freedom, reasonably priced love... and a hardboiled egg.

Haruhi, Ranka-san resolved, was working too hard.

**xxx**

'Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably priced love! And a hardboiled egg!' - Terry Pratchett


	5. Haruhi's Phone

**Haruhi's Phone **(100 words)

Haruhi sat on her swivel chair, and answered the phone ringing with Tamaki's ring tone.

'Tamaki-senpai, why is my ring tone now "The Wedding March"?'

'My daughter! Let's go hiking! A father-daughter bonding event! I even bought us matching backpacks!'

'Why hiking?'

'To see koi in the rivers! Stray cats running about! A beautiful sunrise! Giraffes eating leaves off of trees!'

Haruhi interrupted, 'Tamaki-senpai... Giraffes live in Africa.'

'But the twins-'

'Were lying to you.' Haruhi finished.

Tamaki-senpai sulked. Haruhi hung up.

Kyouya came out of his office. 'Haruhi, what _were_ you talking about?'

'Giraffes.' Haruhi went back to work. **x owari**

**x omake**

Kyouya decided to listen in on Haruhi's conversation the next time a Host Club member called.


	6. Cloud Watching

**Cloud Watching** (200 words)

'Please, Kyouya? I'll just take her for a little while! I'll take care of her! I promise, Kyouya! Just for a _little_ while! Please, Kyouya?'

'...Fine, Tamaki.'

And that was how Kyouya finally relented to Tamaki taking Haruhi out to watch clouds.

x

Let's lie down here!'

'On the pavement?'

'Yes!'

'Sure...' Haruhi lied down obligingly next to Tamaki, albeit a bit sceptical.

'Look! That cloud looks like a elephant, doesn't it, Haruhi? And that one's a cat!'

Haruhi commented, 'Aren't black cats bad luck?' Sure enough, the clouds were dark and stormy. Raindrops started falling.

Haruhi scrambled up, as did Tamaki. 'Haruhi, Tamaki!' Someone called them.

'Ah, Kyouya!' Tamaki shouted happily, as Kyouya came with a umbrella.

Kyouya took out another umbrella. 'You left this at my office.' He handed it over to Tamaki, who was ecstatic.

Tamaki opened his umbrella and started dancing in the rain. Kyouya walked over to Haruhi. 'I only have one umbrella, so...'

Haruhi hid under Kyouya's umbrella. 'Thank you, Kyouya-senpai.' They walked back to the office, with Tamaki dancing a little ways behind them.

Perhaps cloud watching was not that bad, Kyouya thought, as Haruhi stood close to his side to avoid getting wet. **x owari**

**x omake**

Kyoya went back to his computer screen, which had a single window open.

**Forecast for today - Rainy.**


	7. Ginger

**Ginger** (100 words)

'Haruhiii! It tastes bad! Not just bad, but terrible! Not just _terrible_, but – ' Tamaki stared at his bento, feeling forlorn. 'It's _dreadful_, Haruhi!'

'You do know that I'm at work, right?' Haruhi said into the phone. 'You probably just ate a piece of ginger.'

'Ginger?'

'It's for flavouring.'

'But it tastes so awful!'

'It complements the cooking.'

Tamaki drew out a hand mirror from out of nowhere. 'Do you mean like how I complement – '

'No,' Haruhi said bluntly.

Tamaki sulked in his corner.

Haruhi hung up, and decided that the next time Tamaki called her, she wouldn't answer. **x owari**

**x omake**

Tamaki put some ginger on his pancake, and said, 'And now for some flavouring-'


	8. Half a Confession

**Half a Confession **(100 words)

'Haruhi... I think I...'

Haruhi sighed. 'What, Tamaki? Just get on with it.'

'Haruhi, I lov- I... I lov-' Tamaki spluttered.

'What, Tamaki?' Haruhi was getting irritated.

'Haruhi, why is Tamaki simply Tamaki and I Kyouya-senpai?' A smooth voice called out from the office.

'He asked me to call him Tamaki,' Haruhi replied simply.

'Ah. Come help me with this problem. Tamaki, come back later.'

Tamaki ran out quickly. Haruhi walked into Kyouya's office.

'How can I help, senpai?'

'Kyouya. Just Kyouya.'

Haruhi rolled her eyes. 'How can I help, _Kyouya_?'

He smirked. 'Keep Tamaki from bothering you at work.' **x owari**

**x omake**

Kyouya smiled inwardly as Haruhi went back out. Another catastrophe thwarted by the Shadow King.

Now, how to stop the real King to stop confessing the next time?


	9. Father's Day

**Father's Day** (100 words)

'There's an... urgent message for you from Tamaki, Haruhi.'

'I'm very busy answering _your_ emails, Kyouya.'

Kyouya avoided answering the comment gracefully, and said, 'Tamaki told me to remind you what day it was.'

'What day is it?' Haruhi's frustration was increasing as she typed up another email.

'The third Sunday of June.'

'So?'

'It's Father's Day, Haruhi.'

Haruhi's eyes widened. 'I didn't remember!' She got up, the emails forgotten. She ran out the door of the office.

Kyouya thought to himself that _somebody _would be very, _very_, happy.

Kyouya also recalled that he had received nothing for Mother's Day. **x owari**

**x omake**

'Happy Father's Day!' Haruhi said into the phone.

'I'm so glad you remembered!'

'Well, I should go back to work. I'll cook something special for dinner.'

Ranka hung up cheerfully, anticipating the dinner that his lovely daughter was going to cook for him.


	10. Tablet

**Tablet **(100 words)

'What is this, Kyouya?'

'A tablet.'

'What does it do?'

'You write on it.'

'And then?'

'The computer registers the words you write, and then types it in for you.'

'Ah.'

'Try it out.'

'So I just take the stylus and write?'

'Yes.'

'... I wrote a _ha_, not a _ke_.'

'Make the loop in the _ha_ larger.

'That was a _ru_, not a _ro_.'

'The _ru_ has to have a larger loop at the bottom.'

'That was a _hi_!'

'That was _not _a _hi, _Haruhi.'

'It just typed _keroi_!'

'It's because even the computer can't recognise your chicken scratch.' **x owari**

**x omake**

'You're returning this already? Is it flawed?'

'No. My secretary is.'


	11. Origami

**Origami **(100 words)**  
**

Kyouya had noticed that Haruhi's desk contained various origami.

At first, they were simple pieces. A swan. A heart. A frog. A ball.

And then, there was a dragon. A horse. A crab. There was the famous Kawasaki rose. The origami were beautifully made, with each crease clean and sharp.

Kyouya wondered how Haruhi, a horribly inartistic person, could make such exquisite pieces.

He finally asked Haruhi, after a paper tea set appeared on her desk, on top of a kotatsu with a reversible top.

'The origami? That's from Mori.'

How was it that Mori was more feminine than Haruhi?** x owari**

**x omake**

'Haruhi, what is that?' Kyouya eyed the wad of paper on Haruhi's desk warily.

'It's an origami fish.'

'...Mori didn't make it, right?'

'...No, he didn't.'


	12. Motorcycle

**Motorcycle **(100 words)**  
**

Ohtori Kyouya hates motorcycles.

Kyouya hears them pass by his open window every morning, making loud, spluttering engine noises, spewing black smoke into the air.

Kyouya also notices that motorcycles are often parked in the most inconvenient places, often blocking other people from parking, which he finds horribly inconsiderate and plain annoying.

Kyouya thinks that motorcycles are just overgrown overpriced bikes with motors.

What he hates the most about motorcycles is how Hikaru rides one with Haruhi behind him everyday to and from work, with Haruhi clinging onto Hikaru tightly to avoid falling.

Ohtori Kyouya hates motorcycles with a passion. **x owari**

**x omake**

'Haruhi, do you want a drive back home?'

'A drive? I've already got one.'

'I have no wish for you, my secretary, to be injured because of a motorcycle that Hikaru can't handle.'

'Hikaru? What are you talking about? Kaoru's the one who always picks me up.'

Kyouya decided to give Kaoru a call.


	13. Mobile

**Mobile **(100 words)

'I had been calling your home every hour. I need you to finish up those emails you were typing,' Kyoya said impatiently.

'I'm sorry! I had been out shopping at the market,' Haruhi apologized.

'Don't you have a mobile or something that I can call?'

'Yeah. I have the one from the twins, remember?'

'The _friends-only_ model, right?'

Haruhi nodded.

'Add me.'

'Huh?'

'I need to be able to contact you when you're out.'

There was a pause as Haruhi input Kyouya's number on her phone. 'There! Done.' Haruhi told him her number, and then went to work.

Kyouya smirked.** x owari**

**x omake**

'Tamaki, I was talking to Haruhi.'

Tamaki's face lit up. 'Oh! What about, Kyouya?'

'Are you still not on her friends list? She just added me.'

Tamaki went to sulk in his corner.


	14. Driving

**Driving** (100 words)

'Kyouya, you don't have to drive me.'

'It's okay, I don't mind.'

'Kaoru can drive me-'

'I'm afraid that I prefer my secretary to be uninjured upon arriving at work.'

'I could take the bus-'

'Public transit is contaminated, Haruhi, and I am not giving you an excuse to stay home from work.'

'I could walk to work-'

'You'll be late. You work part-time so you can't afford to be behind schedule.'

Haruhi paused, trying to think up an excuse.

'Is it that bad for me to drive you, Haruhi?'

'... I just don't want to pay the petrol fees.'** x owari**

**x omake**

'Thank you, Kyouya.' Haruhi smiled.

Kyouya drove.

'For driving us,' Kaoru added.

The three of them sat in Kyouya's limo.

This hadn't turned out quite as Kyouya had planned.


	15. Sick Day

**Sick Day** (100 words)

Ohtori Kyouya was having a sick day.

His whole company was bemused.

Ohtori Kyouya was _never_ sick. For Ohtori Kyouya to be sick, it must have meant that the world was going to end.

As the majority of the Ohtori company employees started checking their insurance, the secretary of Ohtori Kyouya decided to pay him a visit.

x

'Kyouya? What are you doing?'

Kyouya sat at his desk. He spun around. 'How did you get in?'

'Tachibana-san.'

'Ah.'

'...What's that in your hand, Kyouya?'

Kyouya gracefully put down his book. 'Nothing.'

Haruhi smiled, and left Kyouya to finish reading Deathly Hallows. **x owari**


	16. Sick

**Sick** (100 words)

Haruhi probably shouldn't have gone out in the snow, as Tamaki had told her, but she had needed to get the papers for Kyouya.

And now she was sick. And in bed. Not working – and not getting paid. Kyouya would probably be furious.

Opening her eyes, she saw a teddy bear on her night table, with a letter and a pair of glasses beside it.

The bear was from Tamaki, the letter full of complaints about 'Mother's mean-ness'.

The glasses, however... she looked to her right, where Kyouya was sleeping in a chair.

Perhaps Kyouya wouldn't be mad after all. **x owari**


	17. Bell

**Bell** (100 words)

_Ding_.

A cup of water was brought with a cheery smile.

A pause.

_Ding_.

His finished report was taken. 'I'll go file this'.

He downed the water and struck the bell a third time, bringing a harried Haruhi with it.

'Kyouya, tell me everything you need done _now_ and I'll do it all in one go,' Haruhi said, frowning.

'Just a refilled cup of water,' Kyouya said simply. Haruhi picked up the glass and left.

After the water was refilled and Haruhi was at her desk, another _ding_ sounded.

Because Haruhi's presence in Kyouya's office was too enticing to resist. **x owari**

**x omake**

Kyouya went to his office one morning to find his bell missing and Haruhi looking ridiculously accomplished. He sighed. He'd have to get a new bell.


	18. Puzzle

**Puzzle** (100 words)

'Oh no!'

Haruhi sighed upon hearing Tamaki's exclamation, sure that something stupid was going to come out after it.

The two were sitting at Haruhi's desk, working on a jigsaw puzzle, thus depriving Haruhi of her work time and increasing her time with Tamaki, much to Kyouya's annoyance.

'We're missing one of the puzzle pieces! But don't fret, my daughter, I'll call the jigsaw puzzle company to ask them for another piece right away, so we can finish our lovely father-daughter bonding time!'

Tamaki dashed off, letting Haruhi get back to her work.

Kyouya smirked, holding a single puzzle piece. **x owari**

**x omake**

Tamaki returned to the office a few hours later triumphantly, a new puzzle piece in hand, to find the puzzle already finished.


	19. Hair

**Hair **(100 words)

They seemed to be everywhere. Strands of brown. Kyouya couldn't get them out of his head, those long brown tresses.

They were so _perfectly_ straight, so long, so soft. Kyouya had had to resist reaching out to touch them more than five times already.

Today.

Kyouya tried to stare at his Pineapple laptop screen, but he could still see that head of brown hair through the window of his office.

It wouldn't do. Kyouya stood up and headed out, straight for the locks of brown.

'Kyouya?' the head said, confused. 'What is it?'

'You need to get a haircut, Haruhi.' **x owari**

**x omake**

Haruhi went to work the next day with the most hideous mop of hair that Kyouya had ever seen.

Perhaps Kyouya should have told Haruhi to get a haircut from an actual salon.


	20. Mother's Day

**Mother's Day **(100 words)**  
**

'What's this supposed to be?'

Kyouya stared at the strangely shaped lump in front of him – a blanket tied with a ribbon so it resembled a bag. A heart-shaped piece of card paper was attached to the ribbon as well.

The card said simply 'Happy Mother's Day!'

Apprehensively, Kyouya untied the blanket, revealing... a head of hair.

'I'm going to kill the twins' was grumbled as a dishevelled Fujioka Haruhi stood up, bedecked in a flowery dress.

The twins had finally done something right for once –

As long as they didn't make him give Haruhi to Tamaki for Father's Day.** x owari**


	21. Glimmerous

**Glimmerous **(100 words)**  
**

It wasn't often that Ohtori Kyouya was surprised.

But such a sight warranted it.

An explosion of glitter, Fujioka Haruhi was a walking disco ball, in a glimmerous dress with sparkly skin to match.

Seeing Kyouya's expression, Haruhi muttered, 'Those two...'

She explained, 'I asked the twins for help-'

Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

Haruhi sighed. 'I wanted to make a good impression on your co-workers at the meeting.'

'I'll go wash up now,' Haruhi added, 'or the lotion will never come off.'

Kyouya couldn't help but feel strangely happy that Haruhi had been trying to look good for his sake. **x owari**

**x omake**

'Hikaru, Kaoru, I already drive you to work every morning - I'd appreciate it if you didn't mess with my secretary's wardrobe.'

With that, the phone started beeping.

Hikaru sighed. 'And after all the work we put into that outfit too...'

'Better luck next time, right, Hikaru?'

'Since Kyouya seems so ungrateful...'

They chimed, 'We'll give her to Tamaki instead.'


	22. Concert

**Concert **(100 words)**  
**

'I am not listening to music for a whole evening.'

_Haruhi is incredulous._

'I have to finish my work!'

_Haruhi is logical._

'Also, the tickets for the concert cost way too much.'

_Haruhi is saving money._

'Kyouya, why don't you give the tickets to somebody who would appreciate them?'

x

'I bought you a ticket and you won't take it?'

_Kyouya is incredulous._

'Nobody else will be free on such short notice.'

_Kyouya is logical._

'It's not like I couldn't afford the tickets anyway.'

_Kyouya has too much money._

'Didn't you break that crystal cat the other day?'

x

_Haruhi is screwed_.


	23. Strawberries

**Strawberries **(100 words)**  
**

Haruhi sat on the sand, sighing.

It was supposed to have been a peaceful day at the office, devoid of green plants, water and other natural things - but then _Tamaki_ had happened, and Kyouya had actually agreed to go to the beach together.

Haruhi wished he hadn't.

If Haruhi didn't get back to her desk soon then the work would just pile up and Kyoya would blame something like global warming on her and dock her pay-

'Strawberries, Haruhi?'

Haruhi looked up to a smiling Kyouya, and taking a strawberry, decided it'd be okay to skip work for once. **x owari**

**x omake**

Stepping away from Haruhi who was eating her strawberry, Kyouya decided that Tamaki really did have his uses.

How else would he have gotten Haruhi into a swimsuit?


	24. Dates?

**Dates? **(100 words)**  
**

'Haruhiiiii.'

'Can you take _one day off_?'

'Ask Kyouya to – '

A detached voice questioned, 'Ask me what?'

The Hitachiin twins gulped as Kyouya suddenly appeared.

'They just wanted to go out with me,' Haruhi replied, deaf to her words' double meaning.

'I see,' Kyouya said lightly. 'They want to spend some _time_ with you?'

Haruhi nodded, eyes on her work.

'Hikaru, Kaoru,' Kyouya started, 'go ahead.' He gave papers to both of the twins. 'I expect _perfect_ work, or I'll need... reparations.'

The twins were gone in two seconds.

Kyouya commented, smirking, 'I'm afraid you're stuck here with me.' **x owari**

**x omake**

Kyouya called a number he hadn't called in a while.

'Renge? Yes, this is Kyouya. Would you like to arrange a meeting with the Hitachiin twins for our old customers?'


	25. Trees

**Tree **(100 words)**  
**

Kyouya had been utterly bewildered when he'd found his secretary's desk covered in feather-like tissues.

'Good morning – achoo – Kyouya', Haruhi sneezed, wiping her red nose on another tissue and adding it to the large pile. Kyouya didn't think that was hygienic.

'Are you sick, Haruhi?' Kyouya asked, frowning.

Haruhi shook her head. 'It's the tree – achoo – over there. I'm allergic.'

'But there isn't – ' Kyouya started, only to see a tree beside Haruhi's desk.

'Tamaki brought it,' Haruhi explained, sneezing once more.

Kyouya sighed. 'I'll get rid of it.'

Though he wouldn't mind seeing Haruhi's flushed face for a bit longer. **x owari**

**x omake**

'Tamaki, Haruhi doesn't like your tree.'

'Whaaat? She doesn't like it? But – '

'She's allergic to it. Honestly, I'd have thought you'd known what your own daughter was _allergic _to.'

Kyouya smirked and hung up.

Tamaki promptly went to his corner to mope.


	26. Kitten

**Kitten **(100 words)**  
**

'Just watch over it, okay?'

With that, Haruhi disappeared, leaving Kyouya with a box – a box with a kitten inside it.

Haruhi had found the cat on the street, and was now going to the pet shop to ask someone to take the kitten.

This, however, left Kyouya with an animal that he really didn't know what to do with.

Suddenly, the kitten mewed. Kyouya looked at it for the first time and saw that its feline eyes were amazingly, remarkably _brown_.

And then Kyouya decided. Pulling out his phone, he quickly dialled.

'Haruhi, could you buy some cat food?' **x owari**

**x omake**

'That is my _suit_ you are clawing through,' Kyouya said tiredly, looking at the kitten that was destroying his designer clothing. 'There'll be no food for you.'

Then, the kitten looked at him with its big, round, chocolate brown eyes.

'...Fine, just continue ruining my suit.' The kitten obliged happily.

Really, the brown eyes were Kyouya's downfall.


	27. Better

**Better **(100 words)**  
**

'Kyouya – '

'Haruhi, I am _very_ busy right now,' Kyouya replied irritatedly, typing on his pink laptop - his Pineapple was broken, so he was using his sister's pink atrocity. 'What with the melamine poisoning problem, I have to make sure that Ohtori goods are safe. I didn't sleep enough either, since Tamaki called to whine about _you_, since you don't answer his calls at _three AM_.'

Haruhi leant over, and kissed Kyouya on the cheek, making Kyouya stare. She blinked. 'I thought it'd make you feel better.'

And then Haruhi left. Somehow, Kyouya's crises didn't seem as important anymore. **x owari**

**x omake**

Haruhi, working away in her office, wondered a bit belatedly, after hearing another employee say 'Ohtori-sama, your...attire...', if she should have mentioned that Kyouya had been wearing mismatched socks.


	28. Christmas

**Christmas **(100 words)**  
**

Christmas is a rather pointless holiday.

That's what Kyouya thinks, at least – the holiday is simply a marketing ploy for big businesses to get money from poor plebeians.

The idea of 'Santa' is laughable – a cheap bribe to get children to be good.

And the large family dinner is a no. Dinners in the Ohtori household are not a festive affair.

But Christmas has its pros as well as its cons. Kyouya acknowledges this.

After all, he thinks, eyes on a certain secretary, only Christmastime has the custom of hanging mistletoe in order to garner a kiss whilst underneath it. **x owari**

**x omake**

'Tamaki.'

'Yes, my daughter?'

'Please leave the doorway.'

Kyouya sighs at the slight hitch in his plan as he watches Tamaki standing dejectedly underneath the mistletoe with Haruhi staring stonily ahead. He'll have to take it down.

Christmas is definitely a pointless holiday.


	29. A Friendly Bet

**A Friendly Bet **(100 words)**  
**

'He won't last five minutes.'

The twins grinned. Haruhi read her book, indifferent.

The twins had locked Tamaki inside her bathroom with electricity off, curtains down. Kyouya was timing.

Thirty seconds.

'Five?' Kyouya shook his head. 'One minute. If I'm right, I don't have to chauffeur you to work.'

The twins smirked. Fifty seconds. 'If we're right, you owe us Haruhi for a _whole day_.'

And then, Kyouya struck.

'Tamaki, the twins are doing unscrupulous – '

And Tamaki burst through the locked door, frantic. 'Haruhi!' Kyouya stopped the timer.

One minute.

You just can't win a bet against Ohtori Kyouya. **x owari**

**x omake**

'You cheated!'

'Hm? What do you mean, Hikaru?'

'I mean, you made Tamaki come out!'

'...What else was I supposed to do?'

After all, any amount of cheating was worth getting the twins out of his limo and away from Haruhi.


	30. Photo Stickers reuploaded

**Secretary**

A drabble after a very long time of inactivity, and for a good cause as well! I'm participating at help_japan on livejournal, a charity auction for aid after the Japan earthquake, and you can find my thread on my profile! Please consider bidding, or look through the other offers! There are a lot of talented people offering fic/art/graphics/miscellanea so go go go! (It's come to my attention that the link before wasn't working, so I've removed it (: )

**Photo Stickers **(100 words)**  
**

'Kyouya, smile.'

'I _am_.'

'...You aren't.'

'Why am I doing this?'

'You're showing society that you're approachable and down-to-earth. That was the point of this "commoner's day out".'

'That didn't mean I wanted to act like a giggly teenage girl.'

'You're the one who said you wanted to branch more into products for the average man.'

'Oh for God's sake – '

DING.

'That sound means that the picture was taken.'

'...Great. Are we done?'

'Actually, it's customary to draw on the pictures too. That's why they have styluses here.'

Kyouya was definitely not going to a photo sticker booth again. **x owari**

**x omake**

The photo sticker booth had been a good idea, Kyouya admitted, as he read the article lauding how Ohtori Kyouya was so "in touch with the populace".

Plus, it was nice to see the sticker of the two of them on Haruhi's mobile, which was, apparently, another photo sticker custom.

**xxx**

Please consider bidding, or look through the other offers! There are a lot of talented people offering fic/art/graphics/miscellanea so go go go! Please review, and I'm sorry for not updating! -awin


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